Your Child is a Winner
Your Child is a Winner, as long as he learns and celebrates his failures. aœ
It is the parents who define the word asuccessa to their child, through their reaction. How you respond to your childas attempts in any task will define the word ’successa for him and eventually determine the spirit with which he will lead the rest of his life. If you consider losing in a contest a failure and not a learning ground, then your child is surely going to measure his success in terms of losing and winning. And this is what mostly parents do. Instead of celebrating the attempt of the child, they focus entirely on the outcome. What could be an opportunity to encourage and make the child learn from his mistakes, becomes a session of criticism and disappointment.
Such an attitude of parents disturbs a childas balance. He may develop a fear of failure and may refuse to participate or he may become over ambitious and may not be able to take failures in his stride. Whichever way, this will breed negative feelings .The child will either suffer due to low self esteem or due to inflated ego leading to envy and anger towards people performing better than him.
Success is not about winning, it is all about enjoying and growing with each experience.
So encourage your child to participate regardless of winning or losing. Appreciate his efforts and celebrate the occasion. This will teach him that it is more important to participate than to just win. Help him analyze his shortcomings and improve upon them. This will help him to enjoy whatever he does without undue pressure.
It is important to give your child the courage to accept defeat. Donat ever tell your child that the judgment was unfair or biased. Heall always play the blame game. And worst still, heall never be able to see his own weaknesses and thus never overcome them.
Be a confidence booster for him. Parentas reaction can either make or break a childas confidence. Your encouragement at each step to participate, without the fear of outcome, will eventually help your child discover his hidden qualities, make him confident and infuse in him the zeal to explore and try new things. Thus, widening his horizons and opening a world of possibilities for him.
And why do we forget that each child is unique. Where one child excels in class, the other may be a leader in field. So, donat expect your child to succeed in every task. This will create undue pressure on him, thus marring his natural abilities.
So next time, if your child loses in a tournament, donat think why he didnat win. See how he has tried and look at all the matches heall play in the future. Your expression of disappointment or your criticism will certainly not help him win his next match. On the other, a pat on his back would definitely give him the confidence to make an attempt and do his parents proud.
Tips for Better Parenting
Tips for Better Parenting
No one in this world can rightfully claim that he or she is the perfect parent. Raising a child can be very staggering. It can be especially difficult if you have more than one child to bring up or if you are a single parent. You are bound to make some mistakes in time.
You probably are going to lose your temper over your children’s misbehaviours more than often. These could lead you to hurt your children and say things you do not really mean. Learn from these tips for better parenting then and work hard to become a better parent as much as you can.
Understand why your children are misbehaving. This is the essence of any tips for better parenting. Once you know the reasons why your child goes against the rules, you are closer to becoming the good parent that you want to become. In most cases, children tend to misbehave because they lack your attention. If being good does not earn them your affections, they misbehave so that you get to notice them. To avoid that, spend as much time you can with your children. Play with them, walk with them, read to them, and more.
In other cases, children break the rules because they want to test out the limits imposed on them and the boundaries they have to function within. Any tips for better parenting will advise you that a physical punishment is not the way to deal with things. Instead, discipline your kids through redirecting them. If certain misbehaviour is prohibited, provide a child the behaviour that is accepted. For example, peeing in bed is prohibited. Explain to your child properly that peeing in the bathroom is the right way. You need patience for this because it would probably take time before your kids understand the rules.
Among the many good tips for better parenting is to dole out punishment. You do not do this however by spanking or slapping your kid. You do not also do this by shouting and calling your children bad names. You talk to them instead and make them see the consequences of their actions. If your kid neglects to make up his bed, punish him by not letting him get out of the house until he makes his bed. These days though, the traditional punishment for behaviour such as grounding and removal of toys are becoming less effective. Kids are becoming cleverer.
If this is the case, you have to find out new ways to impose the rules without physical and emotional damage. Always tell your children that you love them and they are important to you. If they behave properly, praise them and treat them out once in a while. If you have followed the above tips for better parenting but still feel angry at your children all the time, you probably need professional help. Talk to parenting counsellors. You can also join groups that aim to become better parents. Go and have a talk with your priest, your pastor, or your doctor.
Understanding Different Parenting Styles
Parenting style plays an important role in how the children grow up and whether they are able to efficiently handle different situations in their lives. Read on to get greater perception on various different parenting styles or ways.
Parenting is a very important responsibility and activity that involves particular behaviors that are designed to work on an individual and group level so as to influence the child outcomes. Specific behaviors of different parenting styles include reading aloud, spanking and these behaviors cannot be looked at in isolation. Any article on parenting styles will indicate that specific behaviors cannot predict the well being of the child and it is determined more by the entire pattern of parenting. Diana Baumrind developed the different parenting styles and these are often accepted and referred to so as to understand the different styles and their impact. Basically the parenting styles are developed so as to understand the ways in which parents try to control or socialize their children. The styles developed by Baumrind also assume that normal parenting is related with issues of control as the main role of the parents in to teach, influence and also control their children. Parenting styles include two important components of parental demandingness and parental responsiveness. Parental responsiveness is also called parental supportiveness and it is an indication of the extent to which parents are able to foster self regulation, individuality and self assertion through support towards the needs of the children. Parental demandingness is an indication of the ability of parents to integrate the children within the family through supervision and the willingness to confront the disobedient child. Depending on the degree of parental responsiveness and demandingness there are four different parenting styles which are:
Indulgent Style
Indulgent parents are also called nondirective or permissive parents. They are less demanding and more responsive. These parents tend to be rather lenient and nontraditional. They do not need mature behavior and allow for certain amount of self regulation and also tend to avoid confrontation. These parents can also be divided in two other types which are democratic parents and non directive parents. Democratic parents are more conscientious, committed towards the child and are lenient.
Authoritarian Style
Authoritarian parents are extremely demanding and not responsive. They are also status and obedience oriented. They expect their demands and orders to be met without any explanation. These parents are often successful in providing structured and well ordered environments that have clearly stated rules. Authoritarian parents can also be divided in two types which include non authoritarian directive parents who are non intrusive and directive. The second type in this parenting style include authoritarian directive and these are completely intrusive.
Authoritative Style
Authoritative parents are also one of the four parenting styles and in this the parents are both responsive and demanding. They monitor their children and impart clear standards as far as the conduct of their children is concerned. They are also assertive but are completely non intrusive and also restrictive. The disciplinary methods they employ are supportive rather than being punitive. They desire their children to be socially responsible, assertive and cooperative as well as self regulated.
Uninvolved Style
This is one of the extreme parenting styles wherein the demandingness and the responsiveness of the parents in rather low. In fact in extreme cases this may involve both a rejection as well as a neglecting.
In determining parenting styles psychological control also plays an important part and in this the emotional development and the psychological development of the child is also considered. Psychological control includes practices such as inducing guilt in the child, withdrawing love and inducing shame. Authoritative parents are more open to interact with the children and make compromises while authoritarian parents expect their children to completely accept their values, goals and judgments. So authoritative parents along with authoritarian parents are high in behavioral control but authoritative parents score low where psychological control is concerned and authoritarian parents score high in the same. Parenting styles are crucial because they determine the well being of the child in areas such as academic performance, social competence and psychosocial development. Children exposed to uninvolved style of parenting often perform poorly socially and on other measures. Children from authoritarian families perform moderately well academically and do not have problematic behavior but have poor social skills and low self esteem and greater depression levels. Children from indulgent homes may be involved in problematic behavior but have higher self esteem and low depression levels.
Why Babies Are Crying Reasons And Solutions
Crying is very important for babies. Because they are so helpless, crying is thenly way they can get their needs met. Babies cry to make sure they survive, so it is important we respond. Going to babies when they cry does not spoil them.Some reasons babies cry are: being hungryr thirsty, being too hotr too cold,needing comfort,not being well,needing a nappy change,needing closeness with you,having pain,being frightenedr lonely.
Babies under 6 months old
Babies do not cry to make you come to them. They are notld enough to remember you when you are not there. They cry because they need something, but they dont know what they need. You can findut what they need by findingut what makes your baby feel better. If you attend to your babys needs when he cries he will learn that the world is a safe and friendly place to be. As he getslder he will cry less.
You can help settle your baby by:
making sure your baby is not hungryr uncomfortable
picking up your baby and holding him close to you if he is frightenedr lonely
holding your baby upright against your shoulder if he is uncomfortable
rockingr pushing the pramver a little bump
findingut what your baby seems to like [some babies are helped by a dummy and some like musicr sounds such as a clock ticking]
watching for what happens when he is more settled and learning to know him and what he needs. See the topic Crying baby for more information.
Babies over 6 months
They may cry from being uncomfortabler hungry,r because they remember you when you are not there and they want you. This is sometimes called separation anxiety. It is normal and a partf their love and trust for you. They slowly learn that you are there for them and you wont leave them for long, so they start to feel safe without you, but this takes time to learn.ften babies at this age will wake at nightr are harder to put to bed because they miss you and they dont yet understand that you always come back.
You can help by:
You always letting your baby know when you leave her. Wave goodbye and let her know when you return
playing little games such as peek-a-boo to help her get used to your going and coming
leaving hernly with people she knows well and feels safe with
if you need to reassure her at night, try putting a bed in her roomr putting her cot in your room so you can get some sleep as well.
How to Talk to Children With Depression
When a child has been diagnosed with depression, it can be difficult to know how to talk to him about his feelings. You may wonder if you should bring it up or whether you should pretend as if everything is normal. Understanding the symptoms of depression and the treatment options can help you relate to your child and ease your own discomfort in talking with him.
1. Symptoms-If your child has been diagnosed with depression, a combination of symptoms have likely occurred that indicated a need for treatment. Depression is expressed differently in children than it is in adults. Although a child may present as sad, she may also show signs of irritability. A depressed or irritable mood that lasts longer than two weeks indicates a problem that should be addressed. Depression is also often accompanied by physical symptoms like headaches and stomachaches, as well as weight fluctuations and disruptions in sleep patterns. Being familiar with these symptoms can help you understand why your child is feeling the way she is and how these symptoms might be affecting her.
2. Treatment-If your child is being treated for depression, he is most likely in therapy and may be on an antidepressant medication.You should familiarize yourself with the medication so you can watch for any potential side effects and also be alert for any changes in your childs mood or behavior. He may be uncomfortable sharing the details of his treatment or any medications, so be prepared to do the research on your own.
3. Isolation-A child who is depressed may want to isolate herself. Gently encouraging your child to participate in activities or offering an ear to listen to whats going on with her can her feel more comfortable and not pressured to act "normal." Giving her individual attention when you notice her withdrawing can be helpful, but try not to single her out. Instead of saying, "Jane, do not stand by yourself," suggest something like, "Jane, would you like to help me over here?" Anything you can do to include your child and keep other kids from singling her out can be beneficial.
4. Normalize-It is helpful to normalize what the your child is feeling. If he shares with you that he feels worthless or isnt good at something, share a similar feeling, such as when you you couldnt shoot a basket or failed a test. Relating to your child encourages him to talk to you and reduces the likelihood that he will feel judged.
5. Professional Help-If you are concerned your child might hurt herself or have any concern for her safety, tell her that you are concerned. Ask her if she has harmful thoughts. If she indicates that she may be in danger, seek professional help immediately.
Top 10 Tips For Good Parenting
Parenting is a very evolving experience. Once a parent, we can actually feel ourselves looking at the world with a different perspective. Our ideals and dreams seem to be changing and we want the very best for our children. Children are adorable with their innocence and adaptive nature but we must also regard them as individuals. Our passion for ethnic handicrafts must be in total contrast to their penchant for Chinese tattoos and this is an area for compromise and understanding.
1. Patience is the most important ingredient for parenting. I feel this is a cultivated skill and once practiced regularly it becomes habitual. This also becomes infectious as there are fewer arguments at home.
2. Assertive means not aggressive but firm in ideals. Making a point clear is important. A toddler needs to understand that this cartoon is not good for watching just as the teenager needs to observe time lines with night-outs.
3..Making time is the only option all of us have. Make time and enjoy parenting. Schedule time for students sports, charity, mud play, lazy Sundays, serious math homework and brunch cooking. Plan simple getaways or a trip to visit your ma-in-law.
4. Honesty is one virtue that is getting rare. Kids emulate us and often notice our failures. Keep up the promise you made even you have to slog extra man hours at work or chores at home on a Friday night if you need to take the kids to the water park on Saturday morning.
5. Realistic people are firm in their practical approach. Constantly cribbing about recession or mundane chores will make kids realize that something is not okay. If you need to talk to someone then do it close doors and far away from children who are extremely influenced by negative talk.
6. Gratitude is the only thing that is a saving grace. Thank God for such lovely children and the opportunity to work hard. Believe that good times will come and the bad days will pass just like the cold flu.
7. Youthfulness is about the mind. Stay young for yourself. Groom well and look nice. Take care of the ailing foot and stay fit with diet and exercise. Kids adore these qualities.
8. Express and do not sulk. If your teenage daughter has an outrageous fashion sense then be open about it. Talk to her and sit her down. Bottling things inside will result in cold war.
9. Learning to cook a new meal or to do a math sum is not really tough if you wish to try hard. Life is full to a person who wants to learn. Kids also learn to be self reliant like their parents.
10. Value money and opportunity. Easy money for kids will make them succumb to vanity. If the skating gear at the wholesale shop is cheaper then An imported gear can be invested for a special championship.
Parenting Skills for Children
Parenting skills are essential to the healthy development of children. While most questions about different aspects of child-rearing do not have absolute right and wrong answers, there are basic guidelines about how parenting skills are best applied. By nurturing, teaching and disciplining your children, you provide them with the self-confidence, character and abilities they need to be as successful as possible in all aspects of their lives.
Nurturing
A childs sense of self-worth and confidence must be nurtured through childhood. Parents must make children feel safe and loved unconditionally. Physical contact is just as important as expressing love verbally. By giving children a great deal of undivided attention, you convey to them they are loved and worth your time, points out the Baby Center website.
Teaching
The ability to teach children with effective communication is a crucial parenting skill. Parents impart knowledge, but they also instill a sense of right and wrong and a moral code. They must instruct children in what is expected of them. While much of this is a gradual process, its important to clearly and consistently communicate behavioral expectations from the start, explains the AllPsych Journal website.
Remember that your actions are as important as your words when communicating with children, and what you do should always be in sync with what you tell children. As the AllPsych Journal website explains, this prevents confusion on the part of children, and it contributes to your being seen as respectable, an authority figure and a role model.
Discipline
Discipline, via both positive and negative reinforcement, is an absolute necessity when raising children. Discipline begins at the earliest stages with routine. The ability to create and stick to healthy routines is an important parenting skill. Children are made to feel safe and are trained to do the things they must do with repetition and familiarity, explains the Keep Kids Healthy website. Routine also builds confidence in children, notes Dr. Peter Gorski, an assistant professor of pediatrics at Harvard Medical School.
The best methods of discipline are subjective and widely-disputed. There is one guiding principle for discipline that is indisputable, though. It is only effective when it is administered consistently, as the AllPsych Journal website points out. The Royal College of Psychiatrists reminds you to be realistic about what you will do, both as reward or as punishment, when disciplining your child. Follow-through is a key part of consistency and maintaining your authority.
